THE GUEST WHO NEVER WANTS TO LEAVE

Creating an atmosphere people rememberThere is a particular compliment that every host secretly hopes to receive.

Not "What a beautiful house."

Not "Everything was perfect."

But:

"I don't want to leave."

Perhaps that is the highest form of hospitality.

Because when a guest finds herself lingering at the table long after dinner has ended, accepting one more glass of wine, or standing in the doorway continuing a conversation that could have ended twenty minutes ago, something has gone right.The evening has become more than a meal.It has become a memory.  The art of making people linger

In Entertaining Is Fun, Dorothy Draper approached entertaining with a wonderful sense of practicality and pleasure. The point was never to create an intimidating display of perfection. It was to create an environment in which people could relax and enjoy themselves.

And that distinction matters.  A beautiful room may impress someone when they first enter it.A welcoming room makes them want to stay.  The difference is atmosphere.  It is the combination of light, flowers, music, conversation, comfort, and all those seemingly insignificant details that somehow make an evening feel effortless.

Start with the room.  Before the first guest arrives, consider what you want the room to feel like.  Turn off the harsh overhead lights.

Light the lamps.  Draw the curtains as evening falls.  Put on music that doesn't demand attention but gives the room a little life.And, of course, light the candles.

Candlelight has a remarkable effect on a room. It softens everything—the furniture, the flowers, the faces around the table—and creates an intimacy that bright electric light simply cannot reproduce.  The transformation can be surprisingly simple.  You haven't redecorated.  You've merely changed the light.

Flowers set the mood  Flowers are perhaps the easiest way to change the character of a gathering.  A generous arrangement can give a dinner a sense of occasion.  A collection of smaller arrangements can make a long table feel relaxed and abundant.  A single vase of flowers on the bar or powder-room counter tells your guests that the details have been considered. 

And flowers needn't be elaborate to be memorable.  Sometimes the most charming arrangement is the one that looks as though it could have been gathered from the garden that afternoon.  The important thing is that flowers should contribute to the atmosphere rather than compete with it.  They should invite your guests into the room, not demand their attention.

Comfort is elegance

There is another secret to a memorable gathering that has very little to do with decoration:  Make people comfortable.  Give them somewhere pleasant to sit.

Don't make them feel that they are afraid to put down their glass.  Don't worry if someone spills something.  Don't apologize for the meal.  Don't spend the entire evening disappearing into the kitchen.  A host who is relaxed gives permission for everyone else to relax, too.  This may be one of the most important lessons of all.

Your guests aren't coming to inspect your housekeeping.  They're coming to see you.  Let the evening unfold

The best gatherings rarely follow a rigid schedule.  Dinner may begin at seven and somehow become coffee at eleven.  Someone tells a story.  Someone else remembers another.  A bottle is opened.  The candles burn lower.  Dessert appears at the table long after everyone insisted they couldn't possibly eat another thing.

These are the moments that cannot be planned.  And that is precisely why they are so wonderful.

Hospitality requires enough preparation to make spontaneity possible.  Set the table beforehand.  Prepare as much of the meal as you can.  Arrange the flowers.

Chill the wine.  Put the music on. Then, when your guests arrive, be with them.

The table is only the beginning

We have spent the past several weeks talking about entertaining, dinner parties, flowers, and beautifully set tables.  But perhaps the real subject has been something much simpler:

How do we make people feel?

A beautiful table is lovely.

But what people remember is the conversation they had around it.

The flowers are beautiful.

But what they remember is the person who chose them.

The candles are atmospheric.

But what they remember is sitting beside an old friend while the evening quietly disappeared.

This is why the details matter.  Not because they make a house look beautiful.  Because they help create the conditions in which beautiful moments can happen.

Create a little magic.  There is no formula for creating an unforgettable evening.  But there are a few things worth remembering:

Dim the lights.

Light the candles.

Put flowers where people will see them.

Play music.

Use the good china.

Serve something you enjoy making.

Don't apologize for what isn't perfect.

And, most importantly, linger.

If your guests sense that you are enjoying the evening, they will enjoy it, too.  Perhaps eventually someone will glance at the clock and say:  "Goodness. Is it really that late?"  And perhaps, as coats are gathered and goodbyes are finally exchanged, someone will pause at the door and say the words every host hopes to hear:

"I didn't want to leave."

The Savington & Hill philosophy:

At Savington & Hill, we believe flowers are part of a larger tradition of gracious living.  They are an expression of welcome.  They help establish a mood.

They make a room feel cared for.  But ultimately, the most beautiful arrangement in the world cannot create hospitality on its own.  That comes from the people around the table.

From generosity.

From conversation.

From taking the time to gather.

From making room in our increasingly hurried lives for an evening that has nowhere else to be.

Dorothy Draper's Entertaining Is Fun reminds us of something that feels particularly relevant today:

Entertaining should be a pleasure.

Not a performance.

Not a competition.

Not another obligation.

Simply an opportunity to open the door, light the candles, put flowers on the table, and enjoy the people who have come through it.  Because the finest measure of a successful evening may not be how beautifully everything looked when the guests arrived.  It may be how reluctantly they left.

A thought for the week

The next time you entertain, don't worry about creating the perfect evening.  Create an evening that people will want to remember.  Light the candles. Arrange the flowers. Open the door. And give the evening time to become something of its own.  After all, the most memorable gatherings are rarely the ones that end precisely when planned.  They are the ones where no one wants to leave.